Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Word from Winkler

A huge problem
By Jim Winkler, General Secretary, General Board of Church & Society

I confess that I don’t think often about domestic violence. I have never considered striking a woman. I didn’t spank my children. Domestic violence, to the best of my knowledge, has not taken place in my family. I know, though, that domestic violence is a huge problem the world over.

I know people who have been abused. Therefore, domestic violence is a concern of mine.


Six in ten adults report that they personally know someone who has experienced domestic violence, according to research cited by the National Domestic Violence Hotline. One in three teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, choked or physically hurt by their partner.

October is “Domestic Violence Awareness Month.” It has been commemorated since 1987 as a means of raising awareness about this plague on society. Purple is the color that marks the observation. When you mix black and blue you get purple.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence says its occurrence may include not only the intimate partner relationships of spousal, live-in partners and dating relationships, but also familial, elder and child abuse may be present in a violent home. Abuse generally falls into one or more of the following categories: physical battering, sexual assault and emotional or psychological abuse, and generally escalates over a period of time.

This is a good time for people to become familiar with domestic violence service agencies in their communities, how to contact battered women’s shelters, and to learn how your community is addressing domestic violence.


It is also an excellent occasion to discuss domestic violence in your congregation. Domestic Violence Awareness Month should be lifted up from the pulpit, highlighted in adult forums, and discussed in United Methodist Youth Fellowship gatherings.

Education and prevention make more sense than having to spend a lot of time and money dealing with the consequences of domestic violence. Alcohol problems, school dropouts and crime are just a few other societal ills that can result from domestic violence.

In the United States, the General Board of Church & Society has supported full funding of children’s services, prevention programs, law enforcement initiatives on domestic violence, rape crisis centers, and other state and local programs that provide services for victims and families. The amount of money spent on these programs is a tiny fraction of what society spends on weapons and training for war and violence.

Domestic violence crosses all barriers of race, ethnicity, nationality, social and economic class, and marital status. Domestic violence includes physical battering, sexual assault, emotional and psychological abuse.

Everywhere in the world, men commit most incidents of domestic violence. Men are usually larger and stronger than women. They use their size and power to harm and intimidate women. It’s common and it’s wrong.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, research indicates that one in four women has been physically assaulted or raped by an intimate partner as compared to one in 14 men. Research also reveals that as many as half of the men who batter partners also abuse their children.

This is a problem not often addressed in church. It’s ugly and messy. The victims often get blamed for their own situation: “What did she do to set him off?” “Why doesn’t she just take the kids and leave?” “If she stays, she deserves what she gets.”

We can be harsh and judgmental.

This is a situation the local church needs to address. We need to minister to victims, educate our people about the problem, advocate for funding for programs that combat domestic violence, and work to break the cycle of violence.

Date: 9/29/2008
©2005-2008

I'm Coming OUT! I want the world to know!

So Big News...

Clay Aiken has confirmed his sexuality... Not that he really needed to though. Kind of makes me angry that we are so fixated on that. Why? Because its taboo? Because he sings songs that we assume are to women?

Other big news... Lindsay Lohan has also confirmed that she is in fact dating DJ Samantha Ronson. BIG DEAL! Why is it that we have to know, or that we have to stick a label on it? Why can't love be love? Or lust be lust?

I saw an interview with Clay Aiken a couple of years ago with Diane Sawyer on GMA and when asked about his sexuality he just looked completely disgusted. It's not something to play around with or coax out of someone just because you assume or because you just "Have to know".

Straight, gay, bisexual, trisexual, monosexual, questioning, trans, queer, or just free floating. Who cares? I mean not that its not an important part of you, and if you decide to share that great, but its not something to be forced out or used by any means for informational gain. I'm sure Diane Sawyer doesn't want her sexuality paraded around, or her fetish for dirty socks pulled out of her on camera.

Anyways.

Pride Weekend!

This weekend Jess and I made the trek up the I35 corridor to show our PRIDE!
Fantastic weekend, full of dancing, drink and merriment!
Friday night we made it to the Brinkmann's new loft after a loooong day of work for the both of us. It was good to get out and take somewhat of a vacation for awhile. Colleen and Barney had dinner ready for us and gave us the grand tour of their new pad, which has an amazing view of downtown dallas.


The next morning we woke up and went to breakfast with Leah, a friend of Jess' that she went to highschool with, and a new friend of mine. It's really neat that she has such great friends who are supportive and have known her for so long. We went to breakfast and caught up on life, the election and what the future holds. Then I met my lovely youngest sister Maisey at Ziziki's in Dallas for lunch. We caught up and ate a really wonderful Meditteranean lunch. It was really good to see her even though I will be going to visit her in two weeks. I sometimes feel like I missed out on getting to know her because I was concentrating too hard on being her overbearing older sister, so its nice to have opportunities to get to know who she is now.
Then Saturday night Jessica and I met our friend Angie and we went to The Rose Room for a drag show. I had no idea how much I would love this! The gals weren't necessarily that great of performers, but there's something about cheesy music, lip synching and shiny costumes that makes me go crazy! I was dancing right along with them on the front row and when there was one that really wow'd me I'd whip out my dolla bills and wave it around in adoring glee! I don't think Angie and Jess had as good of a time as I did at the Rose Room.


Cool Tangent: When we arrived there were these women on the front row who just amazed me. They were about 60-65 and were having a bigger ball than any of us! They were all glammed up and ready to party with the youngins. I just sat there in amazement, wondering what life had been like, what it is like for them. I wanted to know them. I want to be them. Being happy, going out and being themselves and not caring what other people think about their age, their sexuality, or their interests. It was wonderful!
After the show was over we went downstairs to the S4 club which was packed! I've never danced in such tight quarters. We tried to find our own space in the middle but the Latina who started a butt bumping war with me clearly won. So we just sucked up the tight space and danced the night away. I'm known as kind of a rigid dancer with no rhythm and no skill. But Saturday night, I was a different girl, or at least so I hear. I was breakin out the moves and feelin the music and just having a ball, I didn't want to leave. This guy was trying to pass thru the crowd and said to me, "You are too cute! Wow, you are just the cutest! I'm not ever attracted to women, but wow!" HAHA! I got a kick out of that and it boosted my dancing confidence a little more. It was nice to be able to keep up with my girlfriend who is an amazing dancer!
We left the club and crashed at home for a couple of hours before waking up and making the Brinkmann rentals a nice PRIDE breakfast. On the menu: Asparagus and Turkey Bacon Frittata, Tri-colored heirloom tomatoes, Fruit salad, Cranberry Walnut toast and Fresh squeezed orange juice. YUMMY!
Then we hit the road to stake out our spot for the parade! It was a ridiculously hot day! But we braved it. We found our spot and set up camp, waited for 2 hours in the hot sun for it to start and then watched the parade for another 2 hours. There was really just so much to see that its going to be hard to describe to you. So just look at my pics (http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2020238&l=9a810&id=38600567). I would post them up here, but at work I get on here sometimes and I don't want pictures of drag queens to pop up on my computer screen for all to see.

After roasting, we made our way to the festival full of booths, food, music and fun! We got a hot dog to fill our grumbling tummies and then walked around to the different vendors to see what we could see. We came across the Orbitz booth and saw one of those money booths set up. You know where you are blind folded and all the money flies up and you have to catch it all!

There was no line so Jess and I decided to give it a shot. We both had to get in and be blindfolded, the guy manning it told us that we had to gather up all the money/paper money we could and then stuff it into the other person's shirt. Jessica was amazing, I sucked. I came out of the booth with my whole shirt full of money and paper money, she had about 4 pieces in hers. I looked like I had just gained about 15 pounds. So we unloaded our winnings at the table and the people there told us we could either keep the 9 dollars of real money or we could take our winnings of the paper money which meant 700 dollars in plane ticket vouchers. "Plane ticket!" we exclaimed. So I guess this means we'll be going on vacation soon! YAY!
We then made the drive back to Georgetown, tired and happy.

Good times can't last forever, and stars can't be aligned for all time

So things are going exceptionally well.

I've started to settle into my new job at Hope Alliance, my love life is settling into a nice groove, I've got hobbies, I've found a wonderful church. Not a care in the world, well maybe there is.

I'm uneasy with goodness. I’m apprehensive with blessing. I feel suspicious during the valleys, knowing there is a hill coming ahead. I’d like to think that I’m an optimist, but I know the truth, I’m extremely pessimistic and paranoid about the hard times ahead. I know good times can’t last forever, and that the stars can’t be aligned for all time, so instead of enjoying the view for now I prepare myself for the tough times ahead. Most of the time I make my own thoughts which I see as the inevitable into self fulfilling prophecies. I’m looking for the next wrong turn, the next obstacle or the next argument, and I pounce on them to get them started before they’ve even decided to start in on me. It’s very difficult for me to just sit and enjoy now, not worrying about what’s ahead. I know that if I make the inevitable happen now, maybe it won’t surprise me, hurt me, or defeat me as much as if it had discovered me first.
But I’ve caught myself lately, having fun and not worrying about the future. Not worrying about the inevitable. I thought forever that if you just kept yourself guarded from life’s joys that when they hurt you in the end (because I thought fairy tales aren’t true) it would be easier to move on. But in that frame of mind I never felt safe, I always felt scared, abandoned, defeated, before anything ever happened. This time around, I began to see all the goodness in my life and realized that pushing those things out and not fully experiencing them was the real defeat. So I am allowing myself to feel the showers of love, goodness, grace and pure joy for as long as they stay with me. Knowing that there will be hills and mountains and freaking Mt. Everests to climb in my future. And if I haven’t allowed goodness to fill me up, I won’t be strong enough to climb to the top and over to the next set of good things that are in store.

Extended Holiday Weekend

I had a really wonderful Labor Day Weekend!
Friday was Betsy's Bye Bye party. So a bunch of my friends hung out and said goodbye to Betsy before she left for Prague. I'm going to miss her and have really enjoyed our growing friendship this past summer.

Jess was house sitting for a former professor so we got to stay over there all weekend and look after 2 cats (one that was the largest cats i've ever seen in person) and the cutest, most hyper dog i've ever met, spike. So we hung around there all weekend, but it was lovely, it was like being on a vacation.

Saturday morning we went to the Austin Farmer's Market and walked around. Then we went to central market and got some yummy mangoes to make sorbet. Then Saturday night we made dinner (pinwheel steaks and roasted root veggies)and just kind of hung out. Sunday we went to church and then had the most lovely brunch at Kerby Lane. We split a blueberry pancake, jessica had a side of scrambled eggs and i had a side of bacon and then of course we both had to have margaritas! :) Our food cost less than our drinks! :) Then we came back to the profs house and rested. We then made our way to campus to make dinner with our good friend Rigsby. On the menu: Chicken Parmesan, green beans and pasta. For dessert, blackberry cobbler and intoxicating lime sorbet (homeade!).

Monday was amazing! It was Austin's Free Day of Yoga!! So we woke up early and went to San Gabriel Park in Georgetown to do our first free class! It was held at the pavilion in the park and it was so nice and cool. Next we headed to PARTNER YOGA!!! MY NEW FAVORTIE!!




We did all these poses!! IT ROCKED!! Jessica and I had such a good time and I really hpe that we can do it together again soon. She's a yoga expert... no kidding, so I just try and keep up.

So I went to my new job on Tuesday for the first time and it was pretty good, as good as the first day can be I suppose. I showed up really nervous, and comparing everything to the luxury my old job was, and really didn't have any clue as to what I'm doing specifically at this agency. But among all of those feelings I had a pretty good time. I have a new cubicle, well half of a cubicle, and I'm going to be going to lots of meetings in the community and researching a lot of what Williamson County needs in a Violence Prevention Program.

Then yesterday I had a staff meeting and then they sent me home. I have an all weekend training coming up so they wanted me to be able to comp my time. So on my first week of work I've really only worked my first day :) Awesome! If you've kept reading till the end you get a gold star for the day! :)