I seem to be at a new place in life, even though I didn't necessarily want to be here. I found out last week that Lifesteps (the agency I work for) lost our state funding. So what that means is I'm out of a job as of Aug. 29th. Oh dear.
That's the part of working in nonprofit that you just have to accept. Funding and opportunities come on conditions, so I kind of knew that this might happen, but it doesn't make it any easier. This job fell in my lap, and while I'm hoping that another job comes to me as easily as this one did, I know full well that it probably won't. The economy has gotten worse since then, and unemployment is at an even higher number.
And honestly its not about the money that I'm saddened by, its two things that are an even bigger loss to me. It's about leaving the amazing kids I worked so hard with this past year, knowing that they are probably going to be looked over in services and many of them will end up going down the slippery slope that I tried so hard to divert them from. Many of my kids have parents who are incarcerated, drug users, dealers, abusers, can't get a break, unemployed, working 3 jobs just to put some food in their bellies. I know that without services similar to what we provide, many of these children will end up much like their parents, either as a product of their own demise or as a product of the screwed up system that this country runs on, where more and more people can't get up on their feet. I worked hard at my job to make the lives of my kids better, to let them know that they had the potential to refuse the low expectations that they had been given and to accept that they were special, capable and cared about. I'm sad that if this message isn't reiterated that my work will have been for nothing.
I'm also very sad about leaving this family that I have found in Lifesteps. My biological family lives in Dallas, and so many times hard to feel like someone is looking out for me because that physical connection to my family back home isn't there. So the friendships and connections I have made at this place has given me something to look forward to when I wake up and drive to work each morning. I have the best boss in the world, who trusts me and encourages me, and leads me by her example of the hard work she gives everyday. She doesn't demand respect from me because she's already earned it. The executive director of our agency is the most kind hearted woman I've ever met, she not only cares about your life but she invests in it. She makes you feel like you are capable to go and take on the world. And each person here I've become comfortable around, and I feel bonded to these people in a similar mission.
But I'm hopeful that I will find something that fits my skills and my drive. I hope that I will find somewhere that will continue to allow me to explore where my gifts can intersect with the needs of the world. I have a lot to learn about the world before I become a pastor, and Lifesteps has taught me quite a bit. So I know that where God is taking me is going to be the next step in that journey. I'm moving to the next puzzle piece.
Posts
