Seperation

Solid ground is a good feeling to have under your feet. For the past year, well maybe more than that, I felt like the soil has been eroding out from under me. I can remember the exact day and time when I comprehended what was happening to me.

It was last summer at a small little church near Grandbury, Texas where I felt the presence of God leave my side. Some would argue with me that God is never going to leave you, He's never going to step away from you. I would disagree because I felt it happen in the very depths of my soul. For a long time I had stepped away, I didn't pay much attention to anything except for the shiny glow that seemed to emit from me and the faces in awe of me as I stood there with my glowing charasmatic self.

I'm pretty sure God had enough of it. So he decided to take a break from wrestling with me. He left me to try and be shiny on my own. That didn't last for too long.

This past year has been hard without Him, but recently He's decided to try again. It's like I was being buried alive and didn't even realize it. I feel renewed and I guess you could say "reborn". I don't know if its just that He feels pity on me because of the mess that I was in, or if He is just bored and needs a new project, but I think grace falls somewhere in there as well.