The Call

I am calling on you all for prayer and help in discerning a unique and amazing opportunity that has come to Jessica and me. As many of you know I have felt a very strong call to ordained ministry since I was twelve and has continued to be the most real thing I have ever felt in my life. Since coming out as a lesbian, I have become more aware of my role as a pastor to be a voice for those who have been silenced, especially in the church. Jessica and I became involved in a group called “The Reconciling Ministries Network,” whose mission is to work for full participation for all persons within the United Methodist Church. This group is working very hard to gain equal rights within the church for people of all sexual orientations. A person on the national task force has asked Jessica and me to be representatives for the Southwest Texas Conference for this issue. We would be recruiting, educating others, and speaking with voting members of the General Conference to vote in favor of equal church rights. This would be a role that would require us to be very open, very public and very honest about our stories.

Currently there is very conflicting doctrine in the UM church in regards to homosexuality, (go here to read more http://archives.umc.org/interior.asp?ptid=1&mid=1324). There isn’t any clear doctrine that can keep an LGBT person from becoming a member of the church, but there also isn’t any clear doctrine that can stop a pastor from denying membership rights to an LGBT person. This is the issue we are currently trying to vote on by the next General Conference. The doctrine that speaks loudest to me is article 304.3 about clergy, the church will not ordain ‘self-avoid practicing homosexuals’. There are many UM clergy that have been denied their ordination, had their pastoral rights taken away, or have had to keep their personal lives hidden to keep this from happening.

I realize that being asked to do this is quite an honor and a unique opportunity that could really enrich my experience in ministry. However, by being public about my story of my call to ministry and the barriers that are in place because of my sexual orientation might bring more obstacles. By being very public with this effort, I fear that when my ordination comes around that it will be contested by someone and I will not be able to do what I feel God has been calling me to do. On the other hand, I feel called to fight this fight as well, I’m afraid that by being silent I’m not being true to the call to be a voice for those who have been silenced.

So what I’m asking you all for is your prayers for discernment, guidance, strength and peace. This decision feels HUGE, much bigger than me. I feel a lot like David holding a stone and a sling looking up at Goliath, shaking in his sandals. I feel a lot like Moses, doubtful of my abilities and gifts to lead when God is calling me to. I feel a lot like Jonah, afraid of the place God is calling me to go. Whatever I decide I know that God is with me and will use me and my gifts for ministry. I thank God for all of you and your continual support and love. It fills my heart with hope and joy to know that I have such a supportive community of saints in all of you.

Peace,

Britt

Things aren't always as they seem

This blew me away!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

The Face of Christ

I meant to write this post last weekend right after the reconciling service at FUMC Austin, but things have been quite busy. I had a grant report due and a huge meeting I had to lead on Monday and thankfully things have been slowing down since then, but they still have been busy.

There are only a handful of times that I have felt the genuine happiness that I experienced last Sunday night. Jessica and I had invited friends to attend First United Methodist’s reconciling worship service. I’ve written about the Reconciling Ministries on this blog before, but for first time reader sake here’s RMN 101. Currently there is not official church legislation that gives equal membership rights to LGBT persons, the Reconciling Ministries Network is a “movement of United Methodist individuals, congregations, campus ministries, and other groups working for the full participation of all people in the United Methodist Church.” (rmnetwork.org) It is their hope and vision that the UM church will be fully inclusive to LGBT persons and be true to the statement it professes that it exemplifies, “Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors.” First UMC Austin created a worship service especially for this effort to mourn the hurt that the church has caused the LGBT community, to celebrate the success the movement has had, and to give us hope and encouragement in looking at the future.

I knew when we had decided to go to this service I didn’t want to go alone, I wanted to experience this with my community of saints. You see when Jessica and I came out, we were most worried about losing our friends in the Christian community. We thought they wouldn’t understand, that they wouldn’t be able to mix faith and our sexual orientation and eventually we would separate like oil and water. But to our surprise, they were the most inclusive and encouraging group we could have ever asked for. So when I heard about this service, I wanted them to experience this as well.

We entered the beautiful sanctuary at FUMC, a worship experience in itself by just being present in that space. We picked out a row near the front and filed in one by one. Each person had brought in their different story of experience with the church, but were there to support us and to witness something new. As the service began I put my arm around Jessica, something I have started to take for granted at the church we attend. I leaned over to her and whispered how proud I was to be in this place with her and how much I love her. I then looked down the row at my friends and it became overwhelming. It meant so much to me that they were all there, sitting in support of us. To have friends that might not completely understand your sexual orientation, but who are willing to learn and stand in support of you (well in our case sitting in a pew) makes you feel about 10 feet tall. Just because I'm a lesbian hasn't changed my friendship with them in any way, they haven't allowed that to happen. I am loved just the way I am.

To me they are mirroring God's love for us. That night I saw the face of God in each of my friends' faces. I know that the road ahead for me is going to a hard and long fight. Its going to be full of people who don't support me and my 'lifestyle', and will try and keep me from being ordained, having equal rights, and living the way I believe God created me to. But sitting in that pew with my brothers and sisters gave me a hope that I know will fuel me to continue living and becoming the person I believe God created me to be. This group represented so much to me last Sunday night and it became overwhelming for me to be a part of. I wanted those who have not been able to be fully supportive to see this beautiful picture of God's face.

Thank you friends for being the loving face of Christ.